As quoted by Rodney Dangerfield, Dylan Thomas’ poem basically means, “I don’t take shit from no one.” While I’m not quite that pedantic on the concept, there is much to be said about shaking up life once in awhile. I got laid off from my job a couple weeks ago – got a 60-day notice, at least, so I will still get paid for about 6 more weeks, although I also got a 15% paycut, which hurts already. So I’ve been shopping my resume around and writing my least favorite compositions, the dreaded cover letter. So often I want to be honest and just say, “fuckin’ hire me already. You won’t regret it.” Like nobody’s ever tried that one before. Right. Trying to market myself makes me re-assess my life and wonder just what the heck I’m doing with it. And coming to the realization that I feel stuck, trapped, tied down. But I only have so many options. Or are the limitations only in my imagination? I have a big mortgage payment … but in theory I could always sell the house and rent. No yard to take care of, no property taxes. Although it’s a lousy time to sell and I’m not that stupid. I have two kids and they go to school in the Cajon Valley School District. Can’t really change that as I share custody with their Dad half the time, and they’re in a good school. Not stupid enough to mess that up for their sakes, and where would I go anyway? I don’t want a longer drive to and from their school. I don’t know what I want for a job other than something that pays the bills. But that doesn’t resolve this nagging feeling of restlessness. I want a different life. A life less ordinary.
Therein is the theme of this blog, trying to figure out how to do that within the constraints of my reality. Maybe I can look back on this months from now and it will be the documentary of a complete metamorphasis. Or a load of crap.